My mom is 78 and sick again. She believes she’s nearing the end, and I know the power of her thinking, so I’m afraid she could be right. She sees nothing to live for, and has deemed it so.
My mom is a really beautiful person, inside and out but, riddled with fear and insecurity, is the last person in the world to see that. I can so easily understand how that happens, but it makes me sad. Sad that she’ll die thinking herself lesser, undeserving, defeated. Sad that she won't acknowledge her own strengths: her generosity, her sensitivity--even her sense of style. I know she has her reasons--mostly rooted in childhood--but, to be honest, in my darker moments, it also makes me resentful. I think I’m disappointed that she couldn’t show me by example one of the most important things in life is to believe in yourself.
That sounds so harsh, and I don’t mean it to be. I hope these pictures show that I see my mom’s internal beauty—much more than she ever will, unfortunately. They're also a reminder to me to see my own. If only I had any. Just kidding; I do. Sort of. Well, not really. No, I do. Sometimes. On a good day.
About Me
- Mary
- I'm a photographer with little focus. I love taking pictures of nearly anything and everything.
Mary, Mom is a product of the drugs she is on, not how she really can be. She is really a great person and has a heart worth remembering as she always wants to help, just a little misguided at times. Just so you know, you to are very beautiful both on the outside and on the inside and if you ever start to forget, just give me a call. You are a wonderful Mother, Sister, Daughter, and friend to many so what more could you possibly need? A MAN, many I beleive are over rated. Thanks for coming to be with us this weekend, we really enjoyed it greatly.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Mr. Anonymous. It's a good reminder that Mom isn't herself these days. I sure don't know what it's like to be 78--and I do love her, of course.
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for the ego boost. Wasn't fishing--just musing--but it's kind of you.